Advertisements
MarvInspire

5 Principles to Manage CHANGES in Life!

In my previous post, I wrote about DISCOURAGEMENT as one of the obstacles of the positive attitude. Now, I am going to cover CHANGE. The truth is we cannot move forward and remain the same. But why do we resist change? Let us discover why we resist change.

We resist change because of our personal loss. For everything, we gain we will lose something, and there is that fear that we need the things that we let go again. We fear the unknown. We often cling to the things we know, even though we are not satisfied with it.  Changes feel awkward as it feels different. This takes us out of the comfort zone. Another reason is the tradition. People may assume that if it is a tradition, it is the best way to do it. Hence, this restricts us to try out new ways. Tradition can be a good thing if it connects you with other people and personal history. If it not, that can be changed. That conversion will pop up in your head, “We have been doing that way all this while, and it works. Why do we need to change it?”

Change is going to happen anyway. We cannot control it. However, we can make a choice to respond to it!  We cannot become what we need by remaining what we are. If you desire growth, then you must embrace change. To deal change successfully, it is all about preparation and being positive to respond to it. Here are the 5 principles to manage the change.

  1. Change will happen whether you like it or not.

Whatever happen today, will change tomorrow. Change is unavoidable. It is a different world than it was twenty years ago, and it will be different in another twenty years. A great example is the usage of technology. 10 years ago, only people with luxury can afford a mobile phone, and it was not a necessity. Now time has changed, the mobile phone is a necessity to get connected locally and globally. The pay phone now it obsolete, we do not use that anymore. Then, we had keypad phone before we move to touch screen phone. We hardly find shops that sell keypad mobile phone although we want to buy one. Again, we cannot stop the change, it will come. Learn to accept it.

2. Without change, there can be no improvement.

Honestly, change can represent both possible opportunities and potential losses. If we decide to stay still, the growth is zero. Hence, we need to take action to embrace the change. We cannot become what we need by remaining what we are. It is all about perspective. If it is a great opportunity, we won. If it is a loss, you learn. With that experience, we know what works and what does not work. That lead to growth on the way we make a decision in the future. Learn to embrace it.

3. Make a commitment to pay the price for change.

Change always costs us something. It may not be in term of money, it may take time, energy and creativity. In fact, if change does not cost us anything, then it is not a real difference. The best way is to measure the cost of change compared to the expense of the status quo.

Let say you just change job from company A to company B. When you were working company A, you worked exactly 8 hours per day because you have that stability. You know the people, the work processes and the system. Now you are working for company B. You may need to invest extra hours in learning, potential additional late nights and sacrificing energy until you reach that stability similar when you were working for company A. That is the price all of us have to pay when we need to change.  Make a decision to look at the bright side that will make a difference between

Change = growth or change = grief

4. Change must happen within you before it can happen around you.

Time changes things, but we actually have to change them ourselves. Here is the fact, any change that occurs in the world always begins with change within an individual. Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. Once we dedicate ourselves to growth and develop a lifestyle of planned improvement from inside out, it will become routine to you. With that mindset in place, we can welcome any significant shift in life.

5. Make a decision on what you are NOT willing to change.

There are always things that we are not prepared to change. For me, no matter what, I will not change my faith in God as a Christian. I would rather die than forfeit my faith in God. I will not change my value that I hold dearly, which is accountability, integrity and valor. I will not change my life guiding principles such as to have faith and be honest. These are the things are not worth compromising. We need to identify this first. List down the things that you will not change. Then everything else should be open to change.

Do not be afraid to keep trying something new. All the things you love were once unknown to you.

The content was taken from the Difference Makerwritten by John C. Maxwell and with a spice of my thought. Definitely, a book to read and highly recommended for those who want to learn to manage their attitude.

iNSPIRE.PNG

Advertisements

5 Ways to overcome Discouragement!!

Sustaining a positive attitude while living life is very similar to running the SPARTAN RACE. There are obstacles you need to overcome in the race. These can be the negative events that can challenge your attitude.  There are 5 obstacles that we need to face in our lifetime. There are discouragement, change, problem, fear and failure. For now, I am going to cover discouragement.

If you let discouragement get inside you, it can conquer you from the inside out, and it will prevent you from achieving the success you desire.

Every individual gets discouraged from time to time. I am very sure we all have that one day, things do not go your way. They are also people around you that drain you with negative thoughts. They are toxic people that we need to stay away. As we get older, there are things get harder, and there are things get easier. That is what make life interesting!  This is known as growth!

Basically, there are two types of people when it comes to deal with discouragement. There are splatters and bouncers.  A splatter will hit the ground hard, they fall apart, and they stick at the bottom. A bouncer will hit the ground hard too. The difference is they pull together and bounce back. So, which one are you?  Here are the steps to be a bouncer.

  1. Get the right perspective

Take a good look at the whole picture. No matter how difficult things may be, there is always a reason to hope. Take a short look at the problem. Once we assess the problem, we need to focus on the solution. Assess yourself. Are you responding or reacting? Learn from successful people. Most of the successful people have one common trait. It is persistence! Check out people like Michael Jordan, Jack Ma and Dwayne Johnson known as The Rock. These people have been through the tough journey and achieve greatness.

2. See the right people

They are toxic people who drain you. They are tonic people who inspire you. Meet the right people, they will lift you up. Stay away from toxic people, they will not help to lift you up. Most of the time they will complain and find ways to discourage you. Tonic people are the one can give you hope. They can be your accountability partner of your performance. They keep track on what matters in life. There is a saying, “Show me your 5 closest friends and I will show you your future.

3. Use positive word

Another source of discouragement is self-talk. The Bible stated, “The word was made flesh…” Use positive word to convince yourself that this discouragement can be overcome. Dr. Eric Thomas favourite line; I CAN. I WILL. I MUST! Instead of saying, I hate my life! Say, this is interesting. How can I change that? You are what you say.

4. Have the right expectation.

Expectation needs to be realistic. In other words, remain flexible, and you cannot expect everything to go perfectly.  Unrealistic expectation will feed your discouragement. Keep it flexible! Positive perfectionists, set realistic goals and forgive themselves when they fall shorts.

5. Make the right decision.

This is the toughest part. The decision made will have a huge impact on our outlook. It is always important to make the right decision. A wrong decision will lead to more discouragement on us. This comes with experience. Over a period of time, we will learn and grow. The action is always the key!

When you face discouragement, you can do two things, and the one you choose will colour your perspective. You can look at others to place the blame, or you can look at yourself to discover your opportunities. The choice is yours!

The content was taken from the Difference Maker, written by John C. Maxwell and with a spice of my thought. Definitely, a book to read and highly recommended for those who want to learn to manage their attitude.

inspire

4 things ATTITUDE CAN do for you in LIFE!

In my previous post, I wrote about The things that Attitude CANNOT do for you. Let us focus on is one the other side of the coin. The things that attitude CAN do for you.

 A positive mental attitude will not let you do everything. But it can help you do anything better than you would if your attitude were negative!

1. It makes a difference in your approach life

Life has a way to give you whatever you expect from it. If you expect good things, you often receive them. If you expect bad things, those are what you will get. It goes back to the perspective on your life journey. The happiest person in life does not necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

The hard hit that I got was during my late Father was called by the God. That was the most affected hit I got from life. Crying about it will not change the fact that he is not with us anymore. I build the courage to look at the bright side. I realised life has a special way of creating a person character. There is a saying YOLO: You Only Live Once. You live every day when you wake up. Let me change that, YODO: You Only Die Once.  Approach life with gratitude and happiest, your life will be amazing.

my late father
With my late daddy, miss him so much!

2. It makes a difference in your relationship with people

The human being is designed to live in a community. That is the way human survived since the stone age until today in the modern world. Hence, having a good relationship with people is one of the key criteria to be a successful person. Develop trust with a positive mind and most importantly with consistent.

T.E.A.M = Together Everyone Achieve More.

Being a process engineer require me to collaborate with other engineers to deliver a specific project. I need to work with operation engineer, mechanical engineer, Process Automation Control and Optimisation(PACO) engineer and the list go on. With the strong relationship, the task can be delivered efficiently.

3. It makes a difference in how you face challenges

I believe the best way to grow is to face adversity. In life, there always will be obstacles, challenges, problems and failures. There are inevitable. You either choose to stay down to get up. It is all based on your attitude. Every challenge has an opportunity. Every opportunity has a challenge. A person`s attitude determine how she handles those!  There is a saying before “ No society has ever developed tough men during times of peace.”

Obstacle one of the reasons I race the SPARTAN RACE. I want to program my mind that every obstacles can be overcome. All I need to do is focus on the finish line and sustain the positive attitude throughout the run. This year of 2017, I will join Spartan Sprint, Spartan Super and Spartan Beast to complete my second Trifecta!

Sand Carry.PNG
Sand Carry from  Spartan Beast!

4. It is the difference maker

There is connection between people`s thoughts and feeling and their health.  Many people have written about the power of positive attitude on health and mind. Medical personnel say they have seen a positive correlation between people`s attitude and their ability to recover from illness such as cancer.  Keeping a positive mind and keep a healthy body.Poet Jon Milton wrote;

The mind is its own place, and it itself. Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.

Your attitude has an enormous influence on how you see the world. Hence, it affects how you live your life.

SPARTAN RACE is an obstacles course with long runs. Some people asked me, “Why are you paying to torture yourself?” “Save you money so that you can buy house?” and “For what?” Their attitude on SPARTAN RACE is making a hell of heaven. For me, I said it is an investment, a way to build my character and a way to be fit and healthy. I make SPARTAN RACE heaven of hell. I believe it is an investment for my personal development for the long term.

top
Taking down one obstacle at a time!!

Attitude is definitely a difference maker!

The content was taken from the Difference Makerwritten by John C. Maxwell and a spice of my experience. Definitely, a book to read and highly recommended for those who want to learn to manage their attitude.

5 things that Attitude CANNOT do for you!

In my previous post, I wrote about 6 ways to make your Attitude your ASSET. Your attitude is your asset if you sustain the positive mindset. Your attitude is your liability if you continue the negative mindset. Similar to any known asset, there is always a limitation. There are things attitude CAN do, and there are things attitude CANNOT do. I am going to cover what attitude CANNOT do for you.

You cannot disconnect attitude from reality and expect success!

1. It cannot substitute competency

If you think you can execute a particular task, that is confidence. If you have the skill to execute it, that is competence. There is a difference between trust and competence. The confidence it great, but it will not help you positionally. If you do not have the competence to perform a specialized task. You will be in trouble. The truth is you need both!

2. It cannot substitute experience.

Gaining experience is painful compared to competency. Competency can gain through coaching and training. However, the experience is gained based on a person`s journey in life or career. There is a saying “Experience is often a hard teacher because the test is given first and the lesson come afterward”.

Competence + Confidence + Experience = Success!

3. It cannot change the facts.

There are things in life that are just facts. Your attitude will never change them! Let us look at the famous basketball player, Michael Jordon. He won 6 NBA championship playing in Chicago Bulls during his time! He can be as positive he can be to keep playing the game he deeply passionate about. The fact is age is not in his favor. The other younger player is going to surpass him in time to come. He still has the passion for basketball. He response to the event by turning his passion into a business. He created a brand known as JORDAN. He still keeps a positive mind by changing his action.

4. It cannot substitute personal growth

Personal growth begins by taking action. You can be positive about it, but without action, there is no growth. Take action to develop competency, gained experience and keep moving forward! Nothing can replace continuous learning. You need to feed your mind and soul become the person you want to be!

5. It will not stay good automatically.

It’s nice to have that positive attitude, but it is greater if you can sustain it. This is the hardest thing to do which is sustaining the positive mental attitude. Every day, you will be tested. You will experience long hours traffic jam. You will encounter friends that do not keep they promises. The list will go on and on. Commit to yourself that you will have that great attitude. You can start the day by saying “Today I am going to have great attitude” Keep a self-talk card and read it! For me,  “Boys react, man respond! How do I respond to this?” Finds what works for you to keep that positive attitude! Take action on it!

The information was taken from the Difference Maker, written by John C. Maxwell. Definitely a book to read and highly recommended for those who want to learn to manage their attitude. I know I did! Stay tuned for more blog post. Next, I am going to cover what attitude CAN do for you!

A positive mental attitude will not let you do everything. But it can help you do anything better than you would if your attitude were negative!!

6 ways to turn your Attitude into ASSET!

A book was written by John C. Maxwell, The Difference Maker.

“There is little difference in people, but the little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is the attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”

Attitude is an internal feeling expressed by outward behavior. It is how a person respond based on the external circumstances.  Attitude colors every aspect of life. It can paint everything bright and beautiful colors. It also can make everything dark and dreary. The best part of attitude is that it can be control and train.

Your attitude can be either an Asset or a Liability. A positive attitude is always an asset every day in nearly every way. It acts as a guide whether to respond or to react to an event.  It is an asset if you respond to an event. It will inspire you to be better, and it will energize you are when facing adversity. It is a liability if you react to an event. It will drain you out to be worse and it will de-energize you are when facing adversity. It all depends on your choice!

“To change your life, you must make a choice to take responsibility for your attitude, and to do everything you can make it work for you!”

 Here are the steps that were shared by “The Difference Maker”. I added in my thought about the steps as well.

1. Take responsibility for your attitude.

Attitude does not come from outside ourselves. It comes from within. It is always a choice to respond or to react. It is consequences is what you cannot choose as it depends on your choice. Once you decided to take the responsibility, you need to follow through until the end and sustain it over a period of time.

2. Self-assess your present attitude.

The key is to look at yourself objectively, to separate your internal being from attitude. Determine the sources of negativity that feed into you. You need to address it accordingly. It could be problem feeling about yourself. It could be problem feeling related to others. It could be the problem of the way you think. You may need to eliminate or substitute it with a positive feed.

3. Develop the desire to change.

Change is possible, if only you want it badly enough! The challenge is, you need to let go the old ways to develop a new one. It needs to be cultivated consistently. Find your anchor for that change. It could be an event of failure, losing of love one or regret. The anchor gives you a strong purpose of changing. This will drive you to change!  My anchor was the day I lost my father to cancer. That moment was the greatest adversity my family, and I have to face. I use that event as my anchor to change. Find that desire to change and work on it.

4. Feed your mind with positive feed.

The human mind has tremendous power in our lives. That which holds our attentions determine our action. The mind needs to receive the positive feed to take positive action. Most of the time, I read inspirational books, watch an inspirational video, have a quality discussion with great positive-minded people and use a positive word in my conversation. You are what you are based on what is going into your mind.

5. Develop your habits.

A change in attitude begins with the change in behavior first. A change of behavior starts with changes of habit. A change of habit starts with the change of action. In other words, act first, and you will become. Habits are not instincts. They are the action that we have take over  a period of time.

6. Manage your attitude daily.

Making decision is important, however managing the decision made is more important. This is to sustain the habit. You can make a decision to have a good attitude, but if you do not make plans to manage that decision every day, then you are likely to end up right back when you`re started. Keep reminding yourself of the decision you have made to have a positive attitude. Direct your action accordingly. This is critical as it shows consistency between your thinking and action.

Making your attitude as your asset take time and practice. It is a form of the continuous cycle, and the key is daily execution! 

habit-and-behaviour

Source: The difference maker by John C Maxwell

A book written by John C. Maxwell, The Difference Maker, is a definitely a book to read and highly recommended. There is more learning in the book that I would like to share. Stay tuned for more blog post.

10 Lessons Learned in 2016!

It marks the beginning of 2017 and the end of 2016. I thought it will be great to do a reflection on lessons that I learned throughout the year 2016.

1. Live life based on values.

The values that I am holding now are Accountability, Integrity and Valor.

Accountability means upholding the responsibility in every action you take. If you achieve great success, it is alright for you to take pride in it. If you make a mistake, you also must be willing to admit the mistake and correct it immediately. Integrity is when your action reflects your word, especially, when no one is watching! Valor is to have the courage to take action to do what is right, especially, when everyone is against you.

Values are similar to the top executive of a company. They are the people who make all the key decision of the company, ensuring it goes to the right direction. Same goes to a person. It acts as a guideline for a person to make a decision. So, let’s ask ourselves, what are our values?

2. Reading is the best workout for the mind. 

Reading is the best workout for the mind. Not the brain but the mind. What is the difference? The brain sees the visible, and the mind sees the invisible. In other words, the brain observed, the mind analyses. Reading will activate your mind, especially, when you read books related to inspirational, motivational, leaderships-driven and any other categories likewise.

These books are written by the expert and experienced people that have been through hard time and challenging journey in life. I am inspired by how they overcome the obstacles. It helps me to understand things around me better, and therefore I am able to put things into perspective. It allows me to make a better decision in my faith, personal life, family and in a career.

brainvsmindFrom Second Chance by Robert T. Kiyosaki

I reckon that you start reading!  It does not have to be a book. It can be articles and blogs as well.

3. The importance of accountability buddy!

Human, as typical as it sounds, is made imperfect. We have that tendency to deviate from the track over a period of time. When I was 12 years all, my parents was my accountability buddy. They make sure I get good results in school. They tracked my academic performance. As we move into adulthood, your parents may not be there to keep track of what you are doing all the time. Hence, you need people around you to help you.

We need them in different areas of life. Some of them possess skills in certain areas, or it happens that they obtain the skills by experience. They are your important resources whom you can trust, and who genuinely wants to help you. They are the people that would authentically say these words to you;

“Hey! You`re not keeping up! “

“What is wrong with you?!”

“This is what you should do!”

I have my beautiful wife-to-be, Patrissa who is also my financial accountability buddy. I have my good friend, David Liaw who keeps an eye on my fitness level. In the career arena, I have my mentor, Victor and Shahasir to give me advice on ways to advance in my career as an engineer.

Most importantly to quote on my beloved Mother, who always keep me on track on my Faith and Life. She always tells me; whatever happens, God knows what is best for you. Pray! “Love you, mummy!”

4. SPARTAN RACE is a good reflection of life.

SPARTAN RACE is an Obstacle Course Racing(OCR). It is a race that consists of different tough obstacles which will put your endurance and strength to the test. The toughest race was the Spartan Beast. It was a 21km run with over 30+ obstacles. That race lived up to its name of BEAST!! The hills were crazy! I have to say, I almost gave up. However, throughout the race, I keep telling myself “I will not stop running” until the finish line.

 When the body weakens, it will test the mind.

When the mind weakens, it will test the will.

spartan-mud
Credit to Spartan Race Malaysia

Similar to life, it is tough, and it will knock you down. For me, I am going to spend the rest of my life getting up one more time than I am knocked down, so I better start getting used to it. I will be joining Spartan Race again for the Year 2017!

5. Man respond Boys, react!

This was shared by ET the Hip Hop preacher, Dr. Eric Thomas. Respond is to take action in a positive way, whereas React is to take action in a negative way.  It is the attitude you choose to take action on what life had given and taught you. I had this experience before when I was waiting for my flight from Kuala Lumpur to Miri. The flight was delayed for 3 hours. I observed the way other passenger reacted in the boarding hall. No doubt they were frustrated and start to complain and cursing the airline. I remind myself, “Man respond, boys, react”. I said to myself: “Cool, I got more time to read”. I took out my book, One Question by Ken Colemen. This is a good way to practice self-control when facing an unfavourable situation

6. There are 3 sides of a coin.

“A coin has three sides, heads, tails and the edge. Intelligent people stay on edge and look at both sides” In other words, always look at both perspectives and take action which is beneficial to oneself and the other. For example, being an “A” student does not necessarily mean the student is smarter. An “A” means you won and beat your classmate. This was caused by the way the education system was set up which focuses on competition rather than cooperation.  Looking at the perspective which can benefit both sides, the “A” could help the other student to excel as a team. This promotes the value of trust which is worth more than an “A”. Highly recommended book, Second Chance by Robert T. Kiyosaki.

3face
From Second Chance by Robert Kiyosaki

7. People around you will reflect what you`re going to be.

I learned that to be the best version of yourself, you need to surround yourself with people that push you and share the same mindset as you. If you spend most of your time with victim-minded people, you will end up a victim. If you spend most of your time with victor-minded people, you will end up a victor. It is simple as that. So, please identify who are the people that surround you. At the end of the day, you are accountable for your own personal development.

8. Leap of faith.

Every successful person in this world has jumped into the unknown. In other words, taking the risk of what life has to offer and not letting life walked past. It will be hard. You will face failure, changes, discouragement, problems and fear. No matter what the setback is, it is important to keep going and be patient. Keep an eye on the goal! Change your direction, not the decision. I got myself into the property, taking up a new role in Shell, continue to join Spartan Race and even writing this blog. I am still falling from the jump that I made.  Let’s see where I will land.

9. Values of leadership.

Values of Leadership must consist of 3 Vs;  Valor, Vulnerability and Vocation.

Valor means to take courage to lead the team into the unknown, and they put their interest aside for the sake of the team. Valor means to keep the team safe. They protect the followers from the external forces. I love the medieval war, the King is always the front-line of the army and charging forward. The King got the army’s back, and the army got the King’s back. This build loyalty between the army and the King.

Vulnerability is important to show that you are not perfect. It is the willingness to admit that you made a mistake and seek for help. This allows the team to express feeling. It will eliminate the hierarchy nature between the leaders and the followers. Hence, trust between the followers and leaders are being reinforced.

Vocation is an undying commitment to lead. There is no retirement for this. It is an act of service to the follower 24/7. A great analogy is a relationship between parents and children. Although the child is 40 years old, the parents will always be his/her parent no matter what. In other words, it is to treat their followers as their children.

I believe leadership value is not only for Supervisor, Manager and CEO. It is for everyone, even though you are just a junior staff of company! This group of people have authority. Authority is a position of a person hold. It is not leadership. Leadership is a behaviour of a person. If and only if Authority and Leadership merge, a great team is born.

Leader.PNG
From Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek

 10.  The beauty of solo lunch.

Most of the time, I prefer to have lunch alone. I believe it is because of my introvert character.  Typically, I always go to the Piasau Boat Club and take 15-20 minutes to read my book. At the same time, I am able to enjoy the beautiful beach view. Some said, I am being unsociable and unfriendly. I tend not to bother about them. I look at it as my daily reset button and I enjoy recharging through time alone. This allows me to have a deep thought own my own. I find it is more meaningful to have one-on-one connection than going in a big group. Well, my maximum number of people I can manage with is like 3. This allows us to have a deep conversation!

Book at PBC.PNG

Recharged = Beach+ Book+ Food

I would like to end my first post of 2017 with;

action.PNG
From Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins
%d bloggers like this: