MarvinInspire

The 5 Destructive effects of Fear.


Hello there! In my previous blog post, I wrote about problems, discouragement, and change. Now I am going to cover FEAR. My thanks to the book titled The Difference Maker by John C. Maxwell. Here are my take away from the book!

“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
Nelson Mandela

Let us first understand the effect of fear to our life. Every individual has that one fear that they do not want to others to know. It could be fear of public speaking, height, fear of making a decision and criticism. However, fear had its benefits. Fear helps to protect you from danger! When you walked in the dark, your senses heightened, your heart is pumping, and alertness boost up to detect any potential danger and risks!

If it is too much, it can be very destructive, and it can confine you from your greatest adventure. We learn to think every successful person somehow is exempt from fear, but nothing could be further from the truth. Fear is a natural part of the human condition. Guess what? Most fear is in your minds; it does not exist. There is a saying, FEAR is False Expectation Appearing Real.

Limits, like fear, is often an illusion.
Michael Jordan

Typically, as we grow up there is always worries on the responsibility we need to hold. Their worries will breed into fear. The common worries are finances, health, career challenges, family relationship, and accomplishing personal goals. These could be one of your fear as well. We need to overcome the fear! So, it is important to understand the consequences if we give in to fear.

1. Fear can breed more fear.
The most subtle thing about fear is its ability to exaggerate in our mind. We tendency to have an inappropriate sense of what is dangerous. Let me explain further, are you afraid of flying? Before you stepped on an aeroplane, you already think about an air crash. Do you know that more people died in a road accident compared to people were killed in air crashed? The odds of dying in a car accident to be 1 in 98 for a lifetime. For air and space transport (including air taxis and private flights), the odds were 1 in 7,178 for a lifetime. (Source: Is Air Travel Safer Than Car Travel?)

It is you that breed that fears. You project the coming catastrophe that will likely never happen. When the so-called disaster does not happen, you reckon, “Damn, that was close!”. Nevertheless, the fact is that your mind is the only thing creating the potential danger to you.

2. Fear cause inaction.
People who let some fear get hold of them find themselves progressively more fearful! Fear makes you afraid of doing something that might be good for you. You need to call for action to move into the unknown. That is scary. But, if you give in to your fear, you do not move ahead.

You will not receive any of the benefits. You will not gain the valuable experience that would prepare you better informed. As a consequence, you will remain ignorant about the area of life. Ignorance almost always breeds more fear! It will make it harder for you to go forward to learn and get things done!

Remember this, everything in life has some degree of risk. If you are too afraid of death, you will never live. If you are too afraid of struggle, you will never grow. If you are too afraid of failure, you probably never win.

3. Fear will weaken you.
The worst danger you may face is the risk of being paralysed by doubts and fear! It will cause a person to pass on the faith and dispel hope within them. It is brought on by those who spread cynicism and mistrust. They try to blind us to our great chance to do good for all humanity. It just can be either faith and fear.

Let’s look at FEAR!
Fear will weaken you.
Fear will imprison you.
Fear will paralyse you.
Fear will dishearten you.
Fear will sicken you.

Let’s look at FAITH!
Faith will strengthen you!
Faith will liberate you!
Faith will empower you!
Faith will encourage you!
Faith will heal you!

By reading the words above, you can feel the shift of energy after you read the part of FEAR then to the FAITH section! The worst part is when you use the energy to strike action! FEAR will cause you to react. FAITH will cause you to respond. A person cannot allow fear to master him and become the master of his strengths at the same time. You must master only one!

4. Fear Waste your energy.

Fear makes the wolf bigger than you are!

When you let fear take hold of you, you expend valuable energy in ways they should not. It will cause you to avoid the thing that does not harm you.
You have not taken action yet, but you already think about the fear of the solution to problems. In the end, the action is not taken. That fear may not be there.

Keep in mind; fear can push you in the wrong direction by producing tense energy that causes to do worst in every situation. It could even limit you to take action. Over a period. It will drain you and demotivate you.

5. Fear Limits your potential

One of the greatest mistakes in life is to be in constant fear of something that we make. Fear robs you of your potential. It makes us less than we are. People who rule by fear will play it safe. It is a pity because someone cannot reach their potential by remaining in the comfort zone. It is worse when they are keeping others from achieving their potential. When a leaders rules by fear, he become a lid to the people who follow him. Most people fail to realise their potential because their leaders are fearful! Leaders are the one who sets the culture, and they suppose to be fearless to face the threats from outside.I  had that fear when I wanted to start this blog too. I had that fear of not having time. Fear of being criticised for not being good enough. I had that fear terrible grammar. I was being scolded by English teacher before for simple grammar mistake. It will definitely limit my potential to write a blog. I have decided not to give in to fear! Hence, you are reading this blog, and I hope to add value to you!

Let’s us recap! If you give in to fear, it breeds more fear. Fear will cause you not to take action. Fear will weaken you to move forward. Fear waste your energy, and it fears limits your potential from greatness. Never give in to fear and overcome that fear you have all this while.

If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
Dale Carnegie

Please follow my blog! I`ll cover on ways to overcome fear very soon! Stay tuned!

Sign up for Spartan Race Sprint

AT&T Stadium Sprint – Dallas, June 10, 2017,

3333-318894.jpg

Advertisements

The 5 Principles to Handle Problem!


The problem occurs when things do not go the way you want it to be. Everyone will experience the problem.  It can happen anywhere, anytime and most of the time it will happen the least you expect it to happen! There are just inescapable!

People`s perspective makes a huge difference in how a person approach their problem. If we look at negative perspective. Problems are unsolvable, problems are permanent, problems there control us and problems stop us. If we look at the positive perspective, problems are solvable, problems are temporary, problems challenge us and problems stretch us.

3333-323811

How we look at the problem at the first place makes the difference whether we can solve it or not. It is best to look at the positive side by facing the problem, assessing the problem and taking action to address it. I am going to share the key principles to handle problems which I read about from The Difference Maker by John C. Maxwell.

  1. Identify the problem!

The first thing we need to do is to determine if it is really a problem. There is a difference between a problem or a predicament. A problem is something you can resolve because there is a solution. If there is no solution, it is not a problem. It is known as a predicament. The predicament is a difficult situation that a person needs to endure. The issue here is when people treat their predicament as a problem. They become frustrated, angry and even depressed. They make the wrong decision, waste their energy and fail. In the end, they begin to nurture the victim mindset in them. So, how do we differentiate these two?

This is based on my own experience. My father was called by God on the 28 May 2015 due to cancer. This is something I cannot solve. However, I have to learn to live with it and move on with life because crying about it will do more damage. That is a predicament. There is no way a person can resurrect a person from the dead unless he is God. It is a difficult journey, but I have to move on.

my late father
My late father and I

Another example, last year, 2016 the oil price had drop from approximately 90USD/barrel to 40USD/barrel. You are working in an oil and gas company. The company have to make a tough decision to reduce cost significantly to earn hard cash. The company announced a reorganization process whereby there will be massive lay off. Unfortunately, you got the hit. That is already a predicament. Are you going to drain your energy to complain about it? It is alright to vent out for a short period of time. But, are you doing to stay down? Instead, you have to learn to accept it and spend your energy to hunt for a new job or even starting a business. People with a victor-mindset will use it as an opportunity to transition to something better.

How do we define the problem? John C. Maxwell structured P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S as follows:

Predictors – helping to mould our future.

Reminders – showing us that we cannot succeed alone.

Opportunities – pulling us out of ruts and prompting us to think creatively.

Blessing – opening doors we would otherwise not go through.

Lessons – providing instruction with each new challenge.

Everywhere – telling us that no one is excluded from difficulties.

Messages – warning us about potential disasters.

Solvable –  reminding us that every problem has a solution.

I would suggest you write this down and stick it up somewhere that can be easily accessed. If you encounter a problem, look through this list. I believe it will help to motivate you to respond to the problem.

If you are able to distinguish between predicaments from problems, then you are able to put yourself in a better position to endure the predicaments and determine the solution for the problem.

  1. Be ever ready to face the problem.

Al Davis, owner of NFL`s Oakland Raiders

A great leader doesn`t treat problems as special. He treats them as normal.

The moment you drive your car for a long ride, expect problems like a flat tire. When you have your wedding reception, expect problems like the microphone will be faulty or even out of battery. If you are working at the office, expect a problem like being shouted by another colleague for no reason. We need to be ever ready when comes to deal with a problem.

A problem not anticipated is a problem. A problem anticipated is an opportunity.

Facing the problem can be a struggle, believe me. Based on John C. Maxwell experience, they are 4 groups of people when dealing with life adversity.

#1: Flee it – they try to run away, but the problems always follow.

#2: Forget it –they hope the problem will go away, but problem left alone only get worse.

#3: Fight it –they resist, but the problem still persists.

#4: Face it– they look at the problem realistically and finds ways to solve it.

It is good to do self-assessment to determine which group you are usually in. If you are in the #1, #2, and #3, you need to change your mindset. Divert your mentality into the fourth group, FACE IT! The right question to ask, “How can I solve this problem effectively?”. Use positive word to divert your mindset from a victim minded to a victor minded. Remember, the first step to solving the problem is to have the courage to face it and understand the problem.

  1. Every problem is a potential opportunity

Negative minded people will see an obstacle as a burden. Positive minded people will see the obstacle as an opportunity. President John F. Kennedy was asked how he becomes a war hero.  He answered: “It was quite easy. Someone sunk my boat!”. Most of the time, adversity paves the way for success. All the invention around us begins with a problem. It is the affirmative action that a person to resolve the problem that makes the difference.

The Wright brothers, Orville and Wilbur. Both of them opened a bicycle shop and they focus on repairing and selling bicycles. They were also had a passion for flight. However, that time there were no airplane like what we had now. They identified the problem and took matters into action. From a bicycle mechanic to an aircraft mechanic. It was a contrast transition. However, with their positive attitude they continue to pursue their passion. They learned, experiment, made mistakes and modified their prototype until they succeed. On the 17 December 1903. (Source: Eye Witness to History)  Orville Wright took the first flight 20 feet above a wind-swept beach in North Carolina. The flight lasted for 12 seconds. He traveled for 120 feet. Although they succeed that time, they continued to try again to improve. There were three more flights made that day. The best recorded flight was 59 seconds over a distance of 852 feet. That was the mark of flight revolution. The Wright brothers were the game changer of flight by unlocking their abilities from building a bicycle to building an airplane.

Wilbur Wright

“It is possible to fly without motors, but not without knowledge and skill.”

Problems are alarm-clock for creativity and innovation. If we choose to wake up and get up, problems will notify us to use our unlocked abilities. You will be surprised with what you can do with that mindset.

16406462_1412217685477099_78087250816707797_n.jpg

  1. List of all the of the potential solution to the problem

We have to program our mind stating that to every problem, there is already a solution whether you know what it is or not. Fire up the creative and innovative mind to attack the problem. Pull in the available resources. There could be information from the internet or people who are expert with experience that can help you. Use the network you have to tackle the problem.  Good thinkers always have more than one way to solve a problem. We tend to make a mistake when there is only one solution to any problem. Keep on thinking and grinding through to determine the solution.

 No problem can stand the attack of sustain of the solution.

The question is the key to unlocking the world greatest mystery. The right question will give you the right answer. Use the famous fundamental question specifically why, how, what, who, when and where. It will direct the problem to the right solution.

  1. Take action and refocus on the right solution.

Having a list of a solution of a problem is meaningless if action is not taken. We all have that fear of not taking action because we do not know will it work. Once there are options, the next step is to determine the best solution. Then, make the plan to a reality by take the action and concentrate on it. Let us look at it this way, Alex is not taking a decision on the list of solution due to fear of making wrong decision and Zoe is taking the action on the list of possible solution. Zoe does not know the solution will it solve the problem, but she just executes it. Between Alex and Zoe, which person has a higher probability to succeed? Definitely, Zoe! Alex already failed as he did not take action because he is waiting and waiting and the problem still persist.

Thomas Edison

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 Concentration is the secret of strength in politics, in war, in trade, in short, in all human management affair.

In your problem-solving journey, you may make a mistake, do not chase after it. Do not try to defend it, instead learn from it. Take a step back and refocus on the solution of the problem. Move to the next solution which potentially may solve the problem. That is the beauty once you have the list of a solution of a problem. Always keep an eye on the goal that you want to achieve and visualised it. Let us say, Zoe made the wrong choice. She found out that 1 out of 10 solutions does not work and this allows her to eliminate the failed option. She can move on the next potential solution. Learn, refocus on the situation and keep attacking the problem until the goal is achieved.

John Foster Dulles

The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year.

The key is to focus on what you are learning, not on what you are losing. If you do that, then you will open the door to future possibilities. A positive attitude can help you to do that. It helps you to learn from the present and focus on the future. Positive thinking is how you think about a problem. Enthusiasm is how you feel about the problem. Put these two together, it will determine what you do about the problem.

To summarise the principles, we need to identify the problem first. We need to be ever ready to face the problem. Keep in mind, every problem is a potential opportunity. Write down a list of all the of the possible solution to the problem. Most importantly, take action and refocus on the right solution. All the best and go solve that problem!

The content was taken from the Difference Makerwritten by John C. Maxwell and with a spice of my thought. Definitely, a book to read and highly recommended for those who want to learn to manage their attitude.

5 things that Attitude CANNOT do for you!


In my previous post, I wrote about 6 ways to make your Attitude your ASSET. Your attitude is your asset if you sustain the positive mindset. Your attitude is your liability if you continue the negative mindset. Similar to any known asset, there is always a limitation. There are things attitude CAN do, and there are things attitude CANNOT do. I am going to cover what attitude CANNOT do for you.

You cannot disconnect attitude from reality and expect success!

1. It cannot substitute competency

If you think you can execute a particular task, that is confidence. If you have the skill to execute it, that is competence. There is a difference between trust and competence. The confidence it great, but it will not help you positionally. If you do not have the competence to perform a specialized task. You will be in trouble. The truth is you need both!

2. It cannot substitute experience.

Gaining experience is painful compared to competency. Competency can gain through coaching and training. However, the experience is gained based on a person`s journey in life or career. There is a saying “Experience is often a hard teacher because the test is given first and the lesson come afterward”.

Competence + Confidence + Experience = Success!

3. It cannot change the facts.

There are things in life that are just facts. Your attitude will never change them! Let us look at the famous basketball player, Michael Jordon. He won 6 NBA championship playing in Chicago Bulls during his time! He can be as positive he can be to keep playing the game he deeply passionate about. The fact is age is not in his favor. The other younger player is going to surpass him in time to come. He still has the passion for basketball. He response to the event by turning his passion into a business. He created a brand known as JORDAN. He still keeps a positive mind by changing his action.

4. It cannot substitute personal growth

Personal growth begins by taking action. You can be positive about it, but without action, there is no growth. Take action to develop competency, gained experience and keep moving forward! Nothing can replace continuous learning. You need to feed your mind and soul become the person you want to be!

5. It will not stay good automatically.

It’s nice to have that positive attitude, but it is greater if you can sustain it. This is the hardest thing to do which is sustaining the positive mental attitude. Every day, you will be tested. You will experience long hours traffic jam. You will encounter friends that do not keep they promises. The list will go on and on. Commit to yourself that you will have that great attitude. You can start the day by saying “Today I am going to have great attitude” Keep a self-talk card and read it! For me,  “Boys react, man respond! How do I respond to this?” Finds what works for you to keep that positive attitude! Take action on it!

The information was taken from the Difference Maker, written by John C. Maxwell. Definitely a book to read and highly recommended for those who want to learn to manage their attitude. I know I did! Stay tuned for more blog post. Next, I am going to cover what attitude CAN do for you!

A positive mental attitude will not let you do everything. But it can help you do anything better than you would if your attitude were negative!!

6 ways to turn your Attitude into ASSET!


A book was written by John C. Maxwell, The Difference Maker.

“There is little difference in people, but the little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is the attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”

Attitude is an internal feeling expressed by outward behavior. It is how a person respond based on the external circumstances.  Attitude colors every aspect of life. It can paint everything bright and beautiful colors. It also can make everything dark and dreary. The best part of attitude is that it can be control and train.

Your attitude can be either an Asset or a Liability. A positive attitude is always an asset every day in nearly every way. It acts as a guide whether to respond or to react to an event.  It is an asset if you respond to an event. It will inspire you to be better, and it will energize you are when facing adversity. It is a liability if you react to an event. It will drain you out to be worse and it will de-energize you are when facing adversity. It all depends on your choice!

“To change your life, you must make a choice to take responsibility for your attitude, and to do everything you can make it work for you!”

 Here are the steps that were shared by “The Difference Maker”. I added in my thought about the steps as well.

1. Take responsibility for your attitude.

Attitude does not come from outside ourselves. It comes from within. It is always a choice to respond or to react. It is consequences is what you cannot choose as it depends on your choice. Once you decided to take the responsibility, you need to follow through until the end and sustain it over a period of time.

2. Self-assess your present attitude.

The key is to look at yourself objectively, to separate your internal being from attitude. Determine the sources of negativity that feed into you. You need to address it accordingly. It could be problem feeling about yourself. It could be problem feeling related to others. It could be the problem of the way you think. You may need to eliminate or substitute it with a positive feed.

3. Develop the desire to change.

Change is possible, if only you want it badly enough! The challenge is, you need to let go the old ways to develop a new one. It needs to be cultivated consistently. Find your anchor for that change. It could be an event of failure, losing of love one or regret. The anchor gives you a strong purpose of changing. This will drive you to change!  My anchor was the day I lost my father to cancer. That moment was the greatest adversity my family, and I have to face. I use that event as my anchor to change. Find that desire to change and work on it.

4. Feed your mind with positive feed.

The human mind has tremendous power in our lives. That which holds our attentions determine our action. The mind needs to receive the positive feed to take positive action. Most of the time, I read inspirational books, watch an inspirational video, have a quality discussion with great positive-minded people and use a positive word in my conversation. You are what you are based on what is going into your mind.

5. Develop your habits.

A change in attitude begins with the change in behavior first. A change of behavior starts with changes of habit. A change of habit starts with the change of action. In other words, act first, and you will become. Habits are not instincts. They are the action that we have take over  a period of time.

6. Manage your attitude daily.

Making decision is important, however managing the decision made is more important. This is to sustain the habit. You can make a decision to have a good attitude, but if you do not make plans to manage that decision every day, then you are likely to end up right back when you`re started. Keep reminding yourself of the decision you have made to have a positive attitude. Direct your action accordingly. This is critical as it shows consistency between your thinking and action.

Making your attitude as your asset take time and practice. It is a form of the continuous cycle, and the key is daily execution! 

habit-and-behaviour

Source: The difference maker by John C Maxwell

A book written by John C. Maxwell, The Difference Maker, is a definitely a book to read and highly recommended. There is more learning in the book that I would like to share. Stay tuned for more blog post.