5 Ways to overcome Discouragement!!

Sustaining a positive attitude while living life is very similar to running the SPARTAN RACE. There are obstacles you need to overcome in the race. These can be the negative events that can challenge your attitude.  There are 5 obstacles that we need to face in our lifetime. There are discouragement, change, problem, fear and failure. For now, I am going to cover discouragement.

If you let discouragement get inside you, it can conquer you from the inside out, and it will prevent you from achieving the success you desire.

Every individual gets discouraged from time to time. I am very sure we all have that one day, things do not go your way. They are also people around you that drain you with negative thoughts. They are toxic people that we need to stay away. As we get older, there are things get harder, and there are things get easier. That is what make life interesting!  This is known as growth!

Basically, there are two types of people when it comes to deal with discouragement. There are splatters and bouncers.  A splatter will hit the ground hard, they fall apart, and they stick at the bottom. A bouncer will hit the ground hard too. The difference is they pull together and bounce back. So, which one are you?  Here are the steps to be a bouncer.

  1. Get the right perspective

Take a good look at the whole picture. No matter how difficult things may be, there is always a reason to hope. Take a short look at the problem. Once we assess the problem, we need to focus on the solution. Assess yourself. Are you responding or reacting? Learn from successful people. Most of the successful people have one common trait. It is persistence! Check out people like Michael Jordan, Jack Ma and Dwayne Johnson known as The Rock. These people have been through the tough journey and achieve greatness.

2. See the right people

They are toxic people who drain you. They are tonic people who inspire you. Meet the right people, they will lift you up. Stay away from toxic people, they will not help to lift you up. Most of the time they will complain and find ways to discourage you. Tonic people are the one can give you hope. They can be your accountability partner of your performance. They keep track on what matters in life. There is a saying, “Show me your 5 closest friends and I will show you your future.

3. Use positive word

Another source of discouragement is self-talk. The Bible stated, “The word was made flesh…” Use positive word to convince yourself that this discouragement can be overcome. Dr. Eric Thomas favourite line; I CAN. I WILL. I MUST! Instead of saying, I hate my life! Say, this is interesting. How can I change that? You are what you say.

4. Have the right expectation.

Expectation needs to be realistic. In other words, remain flexible, and you cannot expect everything to go perfectly.  Unrealistic expectation will feed your discouragement. Keep it flexible! Positive perfectionists, set realistic goals and forgive themselves when they fall shorts.

5. Make the right decision.

This is the toughest part. The decision made will have a huge impact on our outlook. It is always important to make the right decision. A wrong decision will lead to more discouragement on us. This comes with experience. Over a period of time, we will learn and grow. The action is always the key!

When you face discouragement, you can do two things, and the one you choose will colour your perspective. You can look at others to place the blame, or you can look at yourself to discover your opportunities. The choice is yours!

The content was taken from the Difference Maker, written by John C. Maxwell and with a spice of my thought. Definitely, a book to read and highly recommended for those who want to learn to manage their attitude.



4 things ATTITUDE CAN do for you in LIFE!

In my previous post, I wrote about The things that Attitude CANNOT do for you. Let us focus on is one the other side of the coin. The things that attitude CAN do for you.

 A positive mental attitude will not let you do everything. But it can help you do anything better than you would if your attitude were negative!

1. It makes a difference in your approach life

Life has a way to give you whatever you expect from it. If you expect good things, you often receive them. If you expect bad things, those are what you will get. It goes back to the perspective on your life journey. The happiest person in life does not necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

The hard hit that I got was during my late Father was called by the God. That was the most affected hit I got from life. Crying about it will not change the fact that he is not with us anymore. I build the courage to look at the bright side. I realised life has a special way of creating a person character. There is a saying YOLO: You Only Live Once. You live every day when you wake up. Let me change that, YODO: You Only Die Once.  Approach life with gratitude and happiest, your life will be amazing.

my late father
With my late daddy, miss him so much!

2. It makes a difference in your relationship with people

The human being is designed to live in a community. That is the way human survived since the stone age until today in the modern world. Hence, having a good relationship with people is one of the key criteria to be a successful person. Develop trust with a positive mind and most importantly with consistent.

T.E.A.M = Together Everyone Achieve More.

Being a process engineer require me to collaborate with other engineers to deliver a specific project. I need to work with operation engineer, mechanical engineer, Process Automation Control and Optimisation(PACO) engineer and the list go on. With the strong relationship, the task can be delivered efficiently.

3. It makes a difference in how you face challenges

I believe the best way to grow is to face adversity. In life, there always will be obstacles, challenges, problems and failures. There are inevitable. You either choose to stay down to get up. It is all based on your attitude. Every challenge has an opportunity. Every opportunity has a challenge. A person`s attitude determine how she handles those!  There is a saying before “ No society has ever developed tough men during times of peace.”

Obstacle one of the reasons I race the SPARTAN RACE. I want to program my mind that every obstacles can be overcome. All I need to do is focus on the finish line and sustain the positive attitude throughout the run. This year of 2017, I will join Spartan Sprint, Spartan Super and Spartan Beast to complete my second Trifecta!

Sand Carry.PNG
Sand Carry from  Spartan Beast!

4. It is the difference maker

There is connection between people`s thoughts and feeling and their health.  Many people have written about the power of positive attitude on health and mind. Medical personnel say they have seen a positive correlation between people`s attitude and their ability to recover from illness such as cancer.  Keeping a positive mind and keep a healthy body.Poet Jon Milton wrote;

The mind is its own place, and it itself. Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.

Your attitude has an enormous influence on how you see the world. Hence, it affects how you live your life.

SPARTAN RACE is an obstacles course with long runs. Some people asked me, “Why are you paying to torture yourself?” “Save you money so that you can buy house?” and “For what?” Their attitude on SPARTAN RACE is making a hell of heaven. For me, I said it is an investment, a way to build my character and a way to be fit and healthy. I make SPARTAN RACE heaven of hell. I believe it is an investment for my personal development for the long term.

Taking down one obstacle at a time!!

Attitude is definitely a difference maker!

The content was taken from the Difference Makerwritten by John C. Maxwell and a spice of my experience. Definitely, a book to read and highly recommended for those who want to learn to manage their attitude.

10 Lessons Learned in 2016!

It marks the beginning of 2017 and the end of 2016. I thought it will be great to do a reflection on lessons that I learned throughout the year 2016.

1. Live life based on values.

The values that I am holding now are Accountability, Integrity and Valor.

Accountability means upholding the responsibility in every action you take. If you achieve great success, it is alright for you to take pride in it. If you make a mistake, you also must be willing to admit the mistake and correct it immediately. Integrity is when your action reflects your word, especially, when no one is watching! Valor is to have the courage to take action to do what is right, especially, when everyone is against you.

Values are similar to the top executive of a company. They are the people who make all the key decision of the company, ensuring it goes to the right direction. Same goes to a person. It acts as a guideline for a person to make a decision. So, let’s ask ourselves, what are our values?

2. Reading is the best workout for the mind. 

Reading is the best workout for the mind. Not the brain but the mind. What is the difference? The brain sees the visible, and the mind sees the invisible. In other words, the brain observed, the mind analyses. Reading will activate your mind, especially, when you read books related to inspirational, motivational, leaderships-driven and any other categories likewise.

These books are written by the expert and experienced people that have been through hard time and challenging journey in life. I am inspired by how they overcome the obstacles. It helps me to understand things around me better, and therefore I am able to put things into perspective. It allows me to make a better decision in my faith, personal life, family and in a career.

brainvsmindFrom Second Chance by Robert T. Kiyosaki

I reckon that you start reading!  It does not have to be a book. It can be articles and blogs as well.

3. The importance of accountability buddy!

Human, as typical as it sounds, is made imperfect. We have that tendency to deviate from the track over a period of time. When I was 12 years all, my parents was my accountability buddy. They make sure I get good results in school. They tracked my academic performance. As we move into adulthood, your parents may not be there to keep track of what you are doing all the time. Hence, you need people around you to help you.

We need them in different areas of life. Some of them possess skills in certain areas, or it happens that they obtain the skills by experience. They are your important resources whom you can trust, and who genuinely wants to help you. They are the people that would authentically say these words to you;

“Hey! You`re not keeping up! “

“What is wrong with you?!”

“This is what you should do!”

I have my beautiful wife-to-be, Patrissa who is also my financial accountability buddy. I have my good friend, David Liaw who keeps an eye on my fitness level. In the career arena, I have my mentor, Victor and Shahasir to give me advice on ways to advance in my career as an engineer.

Most importantly to quote on my beloved Mother, who always keep me on track on my Faith and Life. She always tells me; whatever happens, God knows what is best for you. Pray! “Love you, mummy!”

4. SPARTAN RACE is a good reflection of life.

SPARTAN RACE is an Obstacle Course Racing(OCR). It is a race that consists of different tough obstacles which will put your endurance and strength to the test. The toughest race was the Spartan Beast. It was a 21km run with over 30+ obstacles. That race lived up to its name of BEAST!! The hills were crazy! I have to say, I almost gave up. However, throughout the race, I keep telling myself “I will not stop running” until the finish line.

 When the body weakens, it will test the mind.

When the mind weakens, it will test the will.

Credit to Spartan Race Malaysia

Similar to life, it is tough, and it will knock you down. For me, I am going to spend the rest of my life getting up one more time than I am knocked down, so I better start getting used to it. I will be joining Spartan Race again for the Year 2017!

5. Man respond Boys, react!

This was shared by ET the Hip Hop preacher, Dr. Eric Thomas. Respond is to take action in a positive way, whereas React is to take action in a negative way.  It is the attitude you choose to take action on what life had given and taught you. I had this experience before when I was waiting for my flight from Kuala Lumpur to Miri. The flight was delayed for 3 hours. I observed the way other passenger reacted in the boarding hall. No doubt they were frustrated and start to complain and cursing the airline. I remind myself, “Man respond, boys, react”. I said to myself: “Cool, I got more time to read”. I took out my book, One Question by Ken Colemen. This is a good way to practice self-control when facing an unfavourable situation

6. There are 3 sides of a coin.

“A coin has three sides, heads, tails and the edge. Intelligent people stay on edge and look at both sides” In other words, always look at both perspectives and take action which is beneficial to oneself and the other. For example, being an “A” student does not necessarily mean the student is smarter. An “A” means you won and beat your classmate. This was caused by the way the education system was set up which focuses on competition rather than cooperation.  Looking at the perspective which can benefit both sides, the “A” could help the other student to excel as a team. This promotes the value of trust which is worth more than an “A”. Highly recommended book, Second Chance by Robert T. Kiyosaki.

From Second Chance by Robert Kiyosaki

7. People around you will reflect what you`re going to be.

I learned that to be the best version of yourself, you need to surround yourself with people that push you and share the same mindset as you. If you spend most of your time with victim-minded people, you will end up a victim. If you spend most of your time with victor-minded people, you will end up a victor. It is simple as that. So, please identify who are the people that surround you. At the end of the day, you are accountable for your own personal development.

8. Leap of faith.

Every successful person in this world has jumped into the unknown. In other words, taking the risk of what life has to offer and not letting life walked past. It will be hard. You will face failure, changes, discouragement, problems and fear. No matter what the setback is, it is important to keep going and be patient. Keep an eye on the goal! Change your direction, not the decision. I got myself into the property, taking up a new role in Shell, continue to join Spartan Race and even writing this blog. I am still falling from the jump that I made.  Let’s see where I will land.

9. Values of leadership.

Values of Leadership must consist of 3 Vs;  Valor, Vulnerability and Vocation.

Valor means to take courage to lead the team into the unknown, and they put their interest aside for the sake of the team. Valor means to keep the team safe. They protect the followers from the external forces. I love the medieval war, the King is always the front-line of the army and charging forward. The King got the army’s back, and the army got the King’s back. This build loyalty between the army and the King.

Vulnerability is important to show that you are not perfect. It is the willingness to admit that you made a mistake and seek for help. This allows the team to express feeling. It will eliminate the hierarchy nature between the leaders and the followers. Hence, trust between the followers and leaders are being reinforced.

Vocation is an undying commitment to lead. There is no retirement for this. It is an act of service to the follower 24/7. A great analogy is a relationship between parents and children. Although the child is 40 years old, the parents will always be his/her parent no matter what. In other words, it is to treat their followers as their children.

I believe leadership value is not only for Supervisor, Manager and CEO. It is for everyone, even though you are just a junior staff of company! This group of people have authority. Authority is a position of a person hold. It is not leadership. Leadership is a behaviour of a person. If and only if Authority and Leadership merge, a great team is born.

From Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek

 10.  The beauty of solo lunch.

Most of the time, I prefer to have lunch alone. I believe it is because of my introvert character.  Typically, I always go to the Piasau Boat Club and take 15-20 minutes to read my book. At the same time, I am able to enjoy the beautiful beach view. Some said, I am being unsociable and unfriendly. I tend not to bother about them. I look at it as my daily reset button and I enjoy recharging through time alone. This allows me to have a deep thought own my own. I find it is more meaningful to have one-on-one connection than going in a big group. Well, my maximum number of people I can manage with is like 3. This allows us to have a deep conversation!

Book at PBC.PNG

Recharged = Beach+ Book+ Food

I would like to end my first post of 2017 with;

From Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins